I spend a lot of time beating myself up over things I say.
If you know me, you know I talk. A lot. And that I often say exactly what I’m thinking, as unwise as it may be.
People who like me might say that this makes me a Truth Speaker. And yes, in the best case scenario, this can be accurate.
But often it just makes me a Shit Talker.
And so tonight, I find myself standing over the sink cramming handfuls of popcorn in my mouth, running the rewind reel of the day over and over.
I shouldn’t have said, I think.
That was pretty mean-spirited, I think.
Today, there were way too many moments where I was most definitely Shit Talking, under the guise of Truth Speaking. So, where’s the line? I know the line exists.
For me, the line between Truth Speaking and Shit Talking can be best defined by whether or not I am following the Four Agreements. (If you know me, you know I fervently believe that all of life’s “thorns and arrows” can be cured by the right book.)
Like thousands of other people, I first read this book after the author, Don Miguel Ruiz, appeared on Oprah. I was freshly out of college, a single mom and new teacher, and the agreements seemed like a gift. The were simple, wise, indisputable.
Here they are:
When I’m Shit Talking, I’m usually violating at least three of the four agreements. I’m not being impeccable with my word. I’m almost always making assumptions. I am definitely not doing my best. And if I’m being honest, the motivation behind the Shit Talking is usually that I am taking something personally.
A bowl of popcorn later, all I can do is resolve to do better, starting now.
Thanks for reading my third entry in the Slice of Life Challenge.